Using our patented system, you can now bring the beauty of the booty back to Mass Effect with our Ass Effect add-on. Well I’m glad you asked! Using cutting edge science, Critical Hit has spared no expense in creating a solution to humanity’s darkest hour. Just who does Bobby BioWare think he is, to make changes in his game that appeals to humanity’s better side? And how do I stop this? Miranda’s booty which could cause spontaneous werewolf transformations due to its original full moon appearance whenever she entered a room, Grunt’s thick thighs, and Mordin’s bony posterior all deserve to be seen in their glory on new consoles and in 4K. Has this ever happened to you? Have you spent an afternoon enjoying a decade-old key art for an upcoming game that features a female protagonist contorting her spine into an impossible pose just so that she can show off hams that saved multiple galaxies?
For those of us who played the original game, uncovered strange feelings in our loins, and rejoiced when Valve’s Source Filmmaker engine was used to create Rule 34 art, this was the final straw.
On Friday, the most devastating news since the untimely death of Princess Diana was unearthed: BioWare, developer of the upcoming Mass Effect Legendary Edition, was preparing to cut butts from the package.Ī tragedy of the highest order, BioWare’s decision to reframe camera angles so that its vision of a grand space opera trilogy can stand on its own two feet instead of resorting to cheap sexuality is nothing but an attack on perverts everywhere. Did you think life couldn’t possibly get any worse? WRONG. Pollution is increasing, politics are becoming more fractured than ever before, and a virus rages out of control.
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